How to Use This Worksheet

Sometimes, a situation today can feel really intense because it reminds us of something painful or difficult from the past. This worksheet helps you sort out the difference between what happened then and what is happening now.

 

Step 1: Write Down the Situation

• At the top, describe a recent situation that triggered a strong emotional reaction.

  • Example: “My friend didn’t reply to my text right away.”

 

Step 2: Look at “Then”

• Think back to what similar situations were like in the past. Fill in the “Then” column:

  • How I made sense of the situation (e.g., “People don’t care about me”).

  • How I felt (e.g., abandoned, scared, angry).

  • What I did (e.g., withdrew, cried, got very anxious).

  • Underlying assumptions (e.g., “Others can’t be trusted”).

  • Core beliefs (e.g., “I’m not lovable”).

 

Step 3: Look at “Now”

• Now, focus on what is really happening in the present. Fill in the “Now” column:

  • How I make sense of the situation today (e.g., “My friend might just be busy”).

  • How I feel now (e.g., a bit worried, but calmer than before).

  • What I can do now (e.g., wait, distract myself, send a follow-up later).

  • Updated assumptions (e.g., “Sometimes people are unavailable, but it doesn’t mean they don’t care”).

  • Healthier beliefs (e.g., “I am worthy of love and care”).

 

Step 4: Ground Yourself in the Present

• At the bottom, write reminders that help you stay in the present:

  • “Now is not the same as then.”

  • “I am older and stronger now.”

  • “The people in my life today are not the same as the people from my past.”

  • “I have choices and ways to cope that I didn’t have before.”

 

Tip: it’s normal for the past to get stirred up sometimes. This worksheet helps you gently notice the difference between old feelings and what’s really happening today, so you can respond in ways that fit the present moment.