How to Use This Worksheet

This exercise helps you look closely at what you’ve been doing to avoid or control painful thoughts and feelings. It’s not about blaming yourself — it’s about seeing clearly what has and hasn’t worked, so you can open the door to trying new approaches.

 

Step 1: Notice What You’ve Been Avoiding

• Write down the thoughts, feelings, memories, or body sensations you usually try to push away.

• Example: “Feeling anxious before work,” “Memories of being criticized,” “The urge to eat when stressed.”

 

Step 2: Write Down What You’ve Tried

• Think of the strategies you use when those inner experiences show up.

• Use the DOTS reminder:

  • D – Distraction (keeping busy, scrolling, TV)

  • O – Opting out (avoiding, withdrawing, canceling plans)

  • T – Thinking strategies (overanalyzing, self-criticism, worrying)

  • S – Substances or self-harm (alcohol, overeating, risky behaviours)

 

Step 3: Ask — Did It Work?

• For each strategy, write how well it worked:

  • Short-term: Did it bring relief in the moment?

  • Long-term: Did it solve the problem or did it come back again?

 

Step 4: Write the Costs

• Think about the price you’ve paid for using these strategies.

• Examples: impact on health, relationships, missed opportunities, money, energy.

• Example: “Avoiding parties helps me feel calm in the moment, but I feel lonely and disconnected later.”

 

Step 5: Reflect on What You’ve Learned

• At the bottom, write what you notice after looking at the whole picture.

• Example: “The things I do to avoid anxiety work in the short-term, but in the long-term they make my life smaller.”

 

Tip: this exercise is not about “failing” or being wrong. It’s about realizing that old strategies may not have worked — and that creates space for something new: acceptance, mindfulness, and moving toward what matters most to you.